Super Special # 7: Snowbound!

This Super Special doesn’t come with the premise of a crazy vacation, like so many of them, but instead has extreme weather leading to some crazy situations. Most of them could actually happen, which is weird for the BSC, but involve neglect and shenanigans, which is par for the course in Stoneybrook, Connecticut. I’ll talk about all of the girls together for the pre-blizzard period of the book, and then divide up for what actually goes down during the storm. The girls are preparing for the Winter Wonderland Dance, which is a super big deal because all of them have dates. The date breakdown is as follows:

• Kristy is going with Bart Taylor
• Claudia is going with Iri Mitsuhashi (who we’ve never heard of), and who Claudia emphasizes is just a friend
• Mary Anne is going with Logan (obvs)
• Mallory is going with Ben Hobart
• Jessi is bringing Quint Walter, which is a throwback to New York, New York!
• Dawn is going with Price Irving (who we’ve also never heard of), but apparently she recently developed an ‘amazing crush’ on him
• Stacey is going with Austin Bentley, because he’s her go-to between boyfriend man

So they’re all freaking out because the kids of Stoneybrook are dying for snow, but the mature middle schoolers are nervous about the dance being canceled. And of course, each girl has massive drama as a result of the storm.

Mallory Pike and Mary Anne Spier: have the exact same storyline. They’re tag-teaming on a 24 hour sitting job for the Pike kids, because Mr. and Mrs. Pike are ditching their annoying offspring and going to Manhattan for the day. Because the Pikes hate their kids but copulate like it’s their job, they’ve also left no food in the house. The blizzard hits and the elder Pikes get stuck in Manhattan (when really we know they’re not trying too hard to get home), and the house loses power. Mallory and Mary Anne have to hoard food from the seven kids, until dreamy Logan Bruno saves the day by skiing over with food.

Stacey McGill: Stacey is prepping for the dance, and has her mom take her to Washington Mall for a new perm. As a sidenote, when I read these books as a kid, I had no idea what a perm actually was, but wanted one because Stacey always got them. So I asked my mom for one, and she informed me that it makes your hair curly. I was basically a brunette Shirley Temple, so I was left permless. Sadface. Anyway, Stacey and her mom get stuck driving home. They run out of gas, but someone stops to help them. Stacey thinks he’s a kidnapper at first, but they decide to go home with him instead. He and his wife and baby apparently live in a Victorian mansion outside of town, and the McGills spend the night. Everyone back in Stoneybrook freaks out because they don’t know where the McGills are, but they make it back the next day. Codependency can continue.

Kristy Thomas: Kristy is at home and invites Bart over to hang before the blizzard hits. They watch some movies with the younger Brewer/Thomas kids, and then for some weird reason, the family has a formal dinner in honor of Bart. Kristy almost acts like a normal person instead of a kid-obsessed psycho, and is embarrassed by her irritating siblings. The blizzard hits during dinner, and Bart ends up having to spend the night in the mansion. Kristy freaks out, because she can’t let him see her in her pajamas, is scared that he’ll accidentally sleepwalk into her room, and can’t let him see her in the morning either. So she lays awake until 1 AM, wakes up at 5:30, and decides to shave her legs, curl her hair, and put on makeup, all to show off at breakfast. Bart tells her she’s beautiful…aww!

Jessi Ramsey: Jessi is in rehearsals for The Nutcracker, and gets stranded at her dance school in Stamford. Quint, who is arriving from New York, ends up making his way there, so the two of them help out with all of the kids who are freaking out (of course).

Dawn Schafer: Dawn and her mom head to the airport to pick up Jeff, who’s coming to visit for Christmas. Mrs. Schafer is a nervous snow-driver, but makes it to the airport in one piece. However, the blizzard delays all flights, and Jeff eventually gets rerouted to DC, while the ladies spend the night in the airport. As someone who has slept in an airport, I truly feel for them. It’s unfathomably uncomfortable.

Claudia Kishi: Claudia is baby-sitting for the Perkins girls, and their parents get stranded at a friend’s house. She manages to lose their dog for most of the night, and despite the suddenly overnight baby-sitting job and lack of power, refuses to let her parents come help, or bring them over (she lives across the street). No one protests this.

Awards:

Most Embarrassing Thomas/Brewer: Karen, who parades around in ‘sweater-pants’ for Bart. Meaning she uses her sleeves as pant legs. And no one stops her.

Best Name: Holly, one of the kids in Jessi’s dance school, named her doll Caboose. I respect this.

Most Melodramatic Moment: Mallory is told the dance might be postponed due to the massive blizzard. “It can’t be postponed!” said Mal. “Ben and I can’t wait until next week!” Um…why not Mal?

Best Retort: Sam is teasing Kristy for being in the bathroom so long, and says he didn’t think he’d have to deal with such a girlie sister until Karen turns thirteen. Her response is “By which time you’ll be twenty-one and not living here anymore, I hope.” BURN.

Worst Parent: Mrs. Kishi this time, for not pulling rank and insisting on assisting her thirteen year old in caring for three children overnight. Just irresponsible.

Dawn and the Impossible Three

This is the first Dawn book chronologically, meaning it’s our first chance to get into the mind of a chill vegetarian Californian, which I will admit is the complete antithesis to my carnivorous, up-tight East Coast ways. Back in the day, I loved Dawn, but now I’m much more inclined to think she’s straight up crazy. So let’s see what she’s like from her very first pages!

When the book opens, Dawn is still a Stoneybrook newbie. She became friends with Mary Anne and joined the BSC in the last book, but hasn’t fully integrated into her new clique yet. First thing we learn about her: she hates cold, and curses out the weatherman whenever he reports cold temperatures. Way to be a stereotype, Dawn! She’s getting to know Stoneybrook through the kids she baby-sits for, and meets the Pikes (which makes me understand a bit more about why she doesn’t love Connecticut), and their new friends, the Barretts. Mrs. Barrett is one of the many recent divorcees who flock to small-town Connecticut (seriously, is this a thing?), and she has three kids – Buddy, Suzi, and Marnie. Dawn scores the baby-sitting job with them, which leads to all kinds of drama for the newest BSC member.

The Barretts are a mess before their interactions with the BSC. The kids aren’t dressed properly, the house is a pigsty, and everyone is fighting. The only bright spot is Mrs. Barrett, who the entire BSC develops an immediate girl-crush on. Throughout the entire series they mention her looking like a model literally any time she comes up, but that seems to be the only thing she has going for her. Instead, she relies on a group of twelve-year-old girls to raise her kids. Dawn cleans the house, brushes the kid’s hair, teaches them about guns being dangerous, and cleans up after Suzi has an accident – and that’s all during her first sitting job!

The b-plot of this book, as a sidenote, is that with Dawn in town as Mary Anne’s new best friend, her OG BFF Kristy is feeling jealous. Dawn takes over helping Mary Anne redecorate her room, and Kristy has FOMO. I actually really feel for Kristy in this book – it must be awful to have your best friend growing apart from you, and she honestly doesn’t handle it too badly. Anyway, eventually Dawn invites Kristy over after school and they bond over being children of divorce, which leads to Kristy chilling out enough to appoint Dawn the official Alternate Officer of the BSC.

As the Schafers try to adjust to Stoneybrook, their quirky West Coast ways continue. Mrs. Schafer decides to throw a picnic, with an eclectic group of guests: her wealthy parents, who forced her to break up with Mr. Spier back in high school, Mr. Spier and Mary Anne, the Barrett family, and Kristy and David Michael Thomas. As a general comment, I would avoid this party as though my life depended on it. Mrs. Schafer wants to turn the whole town veggie, but Dawn, the voice of reason, convinces her to turn the picnic into a barbecue so that others will eat. The high drama of the picnic is Dawn’s grandparents getting reunited with Mr. Spier.

The neglectful nature of Mrs. Barrett continues. She forgets to tell Dawn the Marnie (her toddler) is allergic to chocolate. She shows up so late that Dawn misses a BSC meeting. She has no sense of her own custody arrangements with her ex-husband, which leads to the main drama of the book. Dawn is baby-sitting again, and she sends Buddy outside while she gets the girls ready. By the time she gets outside, he’s gone. Dawn freaks out, and organizes a search of the neighborhood which ends up involving the police, multiple teams of neighbors, and eventually German shepherds. As it turns out, Mr. Barrett took Buddy when he saw him outside, because scatterbrained Mrs. Barrett mixed up their custody agreement again. She seriously is the worst. She and Dawn have a classic after-school special heart to heart, and the newest BSC member joins the ranks of insufferable adolescents by saving the day yet again!

Awards:

Most Inane Sentence: Dawn tries to impress Janine by saying “Thanks to the foresight of our president it [the BSC]’s both profitable and proficient…profusely proficient.”

Worst Stoneybrook Parent: Clearly Mrs. Barrett. When your seven year old child feels more connected to his baby-sitter than he does to you, you are failing on some level.